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Matthew

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Hello All [11 Aug 2002|05:07pm]
Hmm, just thought I'd say hi to everyone, including random people who leave comments on my journal. Very interesting indeed. Got to get a bone marrow biopsy, where they stick a big needle in my hip, yey...that is gonna suck. But I still think I'm gonna be fine, and people around me are great, you really begin to appreciate them at a time like this. I have about 75 thousand people i can "call if you need anything" Haha, its like no one knows what they can really do, so they tell me to call, but I guess i'd say the same thing. I think I am gonna go to school, which is gonna be interesting, it'll be a quiet semester, but i'll save money since i won't be driking, and prob not smoking though I hear that is good for chemo. Who knows. Welp, i'm gonna go waste more time on PS2 or something. TTFN
Pooh
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People [08 Aug 2002|02:24am]
Its interesting, I think its because we take people in our lives for granted, but like all the people that have kinda come out of the woodwork to wish me the best. I have to admit, its a great feeling, though perhaps not the best circumstances. But like to have a bunch of my brothers callin to talk and see how I am doing, like guys don't nomaly do that. And people randomely gettin in touch with me, I dunno its cool.
My thoughts are kinda scrambled now, I think Jo is right, I'm not gonna know really how i feel until I've got a better Idea where i'm headed...but there are too many things in this world that I still have to do, I guess just keep my chin up and all that...
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Welp [06 Aug 2002|07:52am]
Well, it appears i was wrong, it is infact cancer, lymphoma to be exact. Still, i'm really not that worried, it is fairly easily treatable, and I got department heads at the University of Pennsylvania helping me out. The biopsy sucked though, I feel like someone took a sledge hammer to my chest, not fun. One perk though, I got percocex for the pain, so I'm sitting here typing this, feeling like I am all fucked up, and thats how its supposed to be...cool, eh? I really wish I could make people relax though, cancer has such a stigma attached to it, but I'm really not that worried, obviously I don't hink it is nothing, but it is certainly treatable, and I have no plans of dying just yet.But you know, if that happens, then there isn't anything I can do about it, just go with the flow and all that. School is gonna be a problem, I'd probably be starting treatment right around when I'd have to go back, and that can cause problems, I'm lazy enough as it is, I really don't need to be all tired and shit. This is definatly motivation to grow up and stop partying all the time. Not that I'll stop completely, I'm not gonna lie to myself and say I will, but this certainly focuses your life a bit more...kinda like the exclamation point on my realizations of mortality. Anyways, wish me luck, pray for me, whatever you believe, I'm gonna be okay.
Pooh
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That's a first [05 Aug 2002|12:08am]
Got the royal treatment today, ambulance ride, IV, oxygen tubes in my nose, emergency room, complete with a friendly nurse...Damn hospital keeps you waiting forever though. God I couldn't wait to get out of that place. It's funny, you'd think that i'd be the worried one, I'm the one who randomly passes out, and who "might have cancer" I dunno though, i'm really not that worried. I don't think its cancer and i know i'll be okay. I feel bad for my mom though, she is worried sick, and my poor little sister, who spent her birthday in an emergency room. Even more reasons to shape up though, less drinkin and smokin, more studyin from here on out. My body obviously doesn't need that shit. Well anyways, i want to go watch some tv. Haha, hopefully i'll be alive to write another entry later this week. Until then.
Pooh
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Thoughts [01 Aug 2002|01:18am]
Hmm, its been awhile, I don't know really where to start, or if I even have much to say. Tonight was a turning point; before I was enjoying home, it was nice and relaxing, but tonight burned me out big time on some people here, that I now am anxious to get away from. Thats the best part of college, you can reshape yourself and who you hang out with, and the people at school are generally better people, maybe not all of them, but deep down, I know they are. Cept for David, he'll never read this but here's a shout out to him, he is a good guy. Still, there is something definatly missing from my life, and Iit isn't that hard to put a finger on. I need a girl, yea just call me p. diddy. But no, as great as good friends are, and I have some at school and one or two at home, they can't replace a good girl friend. Some one you can call up when it is a quiet night, or you don't feel like ging out and just chill with, thats prob the best thing in the world. Now if i could only find that...Oh well. Whattelse...if anyone has any advice for this, let me know: Okay, i have this friend, been friends with them for a couple years, we hang out alot. Alright person, but treats the opposite sex pretty bad, likes them for ass. Now I have this other friend, interested in the first friend, but doesn't know what they are getting themselves into. This second friend is a good person, but I haven't known them as long. So do i warn the second friend and save them trouble, or stay loyal to the first? Complicated, I know.
Whatelse...I dunno really, city will be nice...I feel like I have more to say, maybe I'll add more later.
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On Growing Up [12 Jul 2002|02:50am]
You know whats scary? When you loose the feeling of invunerability of your childhood. I knew logically that this was never true, but I always felt comfortable that "it always happens to someone else" Then, last monday I went to the first funeral of someone I graduated with. A single car, single victim accident 600 miles from home. Nothing predictable or forseeable like cancer, just gone suddenly. It kinda wakes you up, thats why I'm not asleep now, cause I was just lying there thinking about what I'd want to say if I left this world early, then you realize that you might not get a chance. Its hard to think, I'm finnaly getting old enough that people do die, from any number of things. But still, you can't shy away from life, its not worth being alive if you run from everything. After 9/11, though all the anthrax scares, I wa afraid to be in New York, but I could get hit by a car here in town, you just never know. So as I lay there, I couldn't reconcile something. How do you tell someone how much you care or appreciate what they've done for you in a world where emotions like that aren't thrown around, cause if you tell them, it seems very out of place and awkward, and if you don't you might regret it forever. I walked from the funeral to the reception with my friend, "None of you better die, I don't want to carry you're coffin any time soon." "I know man, you neither." And both of us knew we had no control.
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Interesting [12 Jul 2002|02:31am]
Well I'm gonna be a tired mofo tomorrow. Can't sleep though, not much I can do about it. Anyone got any advice for how to get back in touch with someone you wanted to stay in touch with, but fell out of touch with, and really want to get back in touch with but conversation doesn't seem to be quite comfortable? Wow, that even confused me. But in all seriousness, the afore mentioned person just IM'd me to sat bye, then signed off. I know what I'm thinkin, but I could never tell what that person was thinking, and its a bit tough at times. Who the hell knows?

Since its been a while...Summer still sucks, this is definaty my last time home. Its interesting though seeing how a year at school changed some people, my self included, for better or worse. Persinally i think i've gotten better, but that is a hard judgement to make for yourself, so if anyone has an opinion, let me know. The kids are a pain in the ass as always, but their parents pay real well so I think I'll deal with it. Finally starting to get back into shape which is definatly nice, though I suck at diets, but it'll e worth it to shut Chin up. Dugan seems to be falling for a girl, which is crazy, but I think he'll find her too tough to tame, it should be interesting to watch though. David is finally realizing that he is borderline an alchoholic, and is definatly still hurting which def sucks, since he is a nice guy, but it makes him a pain in the ass. And Malik is just Malik, always with Felicia. As for myself, theres one person i'd be interested in, but its much too tough, and random hook ups i've decided take too much energy to pull off, and are rather boring unless you are super horny or something, I'd rather avoid them, so it seems that it will be a quiet summer, and to be honest that really doesn't bother me. Just relax before I go back to New Yorks stress in the fall. I think thats all i really have for now. Until next time...
Pooh
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Well Holy Shit [19 Jun 2002|02:09am]
[ mood | exanimate ]

Nag Nag Nag...thats what I get. I'm in Moorestown, nothing happens here, yet I still have to keep this damn thing updated? I don't get it. Lets see, everything thats happened since the 28th of may...My COusins wedding, June 1st, it was fun drinking with the family, i was gonna stay down there for my sisters 21st Birthday, but I got to come home and start painting the house instead, what fun.Since then, I have painted the house during the day, nearly killed David on several occasions, due to the fact that when he starts singing he sounds like a cow with a 12 foot dildo up its ass...You can imagine...In the evening, I am usually driving, and so I must limit my alchohol consumption considerably, parties at my house lead to skinny dipping and drunkeness, but cause severe hang overs the next day. My one solace, trees. Lucky I found some, but the munchies seem to offset my attempts to start running once again. Think, me waddling down the path along side Borton Landing with cars stopping to see if i need a ride cause i am going so slow. And my lungs...I know smoking doesn't help, but I didn't know it could be this hard to breath when you are running...Feels like I'm carying an Ompa Loompa on my back...I'd like to have one of those as a slave...anyway, I think that's about all that has happened. Now on to me...Moorestown is a relaxing change from the constant motion of the big city, It really is a totally different state, but...common, its moorestown. How long can I honestly see the same 5 peopel everyday andnot strangle them? And common, drinking in Dugans room, or random parties where i know 2 people, isn't exactly fun, plus i can rarely get ripped cause no one can drive me. Women...I'm am fairly convinced that either Moorestown sdoesn't have any in its population, or perhaps I am emminating gay vibes or something...In either case, this is not the place to be. To remedy that, Is time to take a trip to te big city. Go up friday evening, have a few beers with my brother and go to Exit with my old roomate, maybe drop some E and see whats up with that, but that is some what of a risky proposition, so we shall see. I will then go pass out after a long night of drinking at my brothers place. Saturday, If I can wake up, I will probably be hung over, in the evening, I'll go eat then perhaps go to one of out favorite watering holes and relax. Sunday I'll use my ID that works in the city to get some Bacardi 151, which hopefully upon my return will make Moorestown more exciting, or atleast ugly girls more acceptable. That was a joke, because we all know that there aren't even ugly girls, much less anything female, around this neck of the woods. And this, ladies and Gentlemen, or atleast Johanna, cause I'm pretty sure you are the only person who ever reads this or cares (If anyone else reads this, will ya let me know so I can give you a shout out?) wow, run on sentance, is why peopel don't keep coming home in the summers from college, this is definatly my last one. Well, now that I've rambled on for about 7 pages, and bored the shit out of everyone (Johanna) I think I'll end this, I hope it can hold you all (Johanna) over until next week when I will fill you all in to the hopefully glorious weekend I will have back home, in NYC. Uh Yea, Night.
Winnie The Pooh
P.S. I don't know what my mood actually means, but it looked cool, and I didn't see any others I liked... I'd have to say, I'm really feeling exanimate right now.

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[28 May 2002|02:08am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Interesting...summer blows, and i don;'t know where i am with things. Wish I had a better idea of where to go, but this is all new to me, so I dont. Luckly trouble is out of my hair, and I got some time to relax and not worry, but still...Who knows, what will be will be......................

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[15 May 2002|04:46am]
Interesting when a random person can completely change your outlook. I realized how little it all matters. Can't wait to go home now, its gonna be rather nice. Chill, get back in shape, earn money...its gonna be nice. Aight, I'm out for tonight.
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[14 May 2002|01:36am]
[ mood | drunk and content ]

It's been awile, I'm drunk again. My boy is a dick, I still can't believe he is doing this, but hey, there isn't much I can do about it. Girl is gotta be hot as hell no...damn. Oh well, I be home ina few days, hopefully it'll be a good summer, but me and David gonna have to fuck some shit up, especially on jis end, I can't believe Greg did tjhat. Alright, I've probably already said too much, time to find some sleep or bittys. Who .knows. Jojo, you'll always be my girl. I can't believe I just said that...peace y'all.

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[04 May 2002|03:42am]
[ mood | distressed ]

Damnit, i dhouldn't have opened my big mother fucking mouth...reasons not to drink...

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[02 May 2002|12:51am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Honestly, at this point I wish I could just figure out how I feel.

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[29 Apr 2002|04:38pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Seriously, people from Moorestown are fucked up. Why do they go messing around where they have no business, walking all over what used to be their boys. I just don't get a few people from home...

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[28 Apr 2002|09:18pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

God Damn, I've been sick all week and I still don't feel completely better. 2 Weeks left then I get to go home, well around then anyways, I never thought I'd say this, but I really can't wait to go, I guess its more cause I want to be done with all this school shit, though I am kinda looking forward to summer. Hopefully it will be a great time. Other than that, not too much is new. Gotta get back in shape now, shit...

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[28 Apr 2002|09:17pm]
God Damn, I've been sick all week and I still don't feel completely better. 2 Weeks left then I get to go home, well around then anyways, I never thought I'd say this, but I really can't wait to go, I guess its more cause I want to be done with all this school shit, though I am kinda looking forward to summer. Hopefully it will be a great time. Other than that, not too much is new. Gotta get back in shape now, shit...
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[25 Apr 2002|03:23pm]
[ mood | content ]

Hmm, where to go now. Finally feeling better after a shitty week, that I've basically slept through. Don't know what to do about my boy back home, but if you don't know what I'm talking about don't ask. It still feels good to be a Pike, everyday, just for wearing the letters, you get a couple more looks. I wonder why that is.
Can't wait for summer to come, its gonna be so nice just to chill, have time to make money and get back in shape and see my boys. Its cool, I don't talk to them for a while, but when I need them they are right there for me, no questions asked. That's a cool feeling. Hopefully I'll be able to go to Canada with them, that would be tight. We'll see. Until later...

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[23 Apr 2002|12:43am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Interesting, very interesting. Rather surprising too. Never would have expected it though.

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[21 Apr 2002|05:31pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Pikes once, Pikes twice, for the best Pikes thrice...
It's finally over, and I can honestly say its one of the best things I've done for myself. Can't wait to go home and sleep though, that'll be nnniiiiiiicceee. Other then that, life is just chill. Need money though. Hmmmmm......

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[11 Apr 2002|10:53pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Hmm, tomorrow is the dance, rather excited for that, though I have no desire to go out tonight. Smoked too much I assume, oh well. Last weekend of freedom before Ingress, if you don't know what that is don't ask (cause i really don't know) I guess I better enjoy. MoJo JoJo and Steve-O from ATO...might I actually be jealous? Wierd, I didn't think i had emotion anymore. Gotta figure this one out...

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